“Big Oil” and the Environment

Hey Amanda, 

Basically my entire life has been shaped and financed by Big Oil,  directly. That’s not reall

y that surprising from a girl who was born in Houston. But it’s also true of anyone I’ve ever met no matter where they were born albeit much more indirectly.

Gasoline is amazing. Honestly. Gasoline is so energy dense there is very little on the Earth that can compare with it. People can fly across the country in a matter of hours thanks to gasoline. We can haul goods and food from the Midwest to the population centers of the entire world. I know everyone likes to complain about the price of gas, but I just filled up my tank at the same cost per unit as milk. Gasoline is ridiculously cheap. And it makes your standard of living ridiculously high.

diamond encrusted never looked so...industrial.
 (Photo Credit) 

Think about it. Deposits of crude oil were drilled into with million dollar drill bits through thousands of feet, sometimes miles, of rock. It was then removed and shipped to refineries, where it is separated into batches that will become thousands of products you rely on every day of your life: your toothbrush, your pantyhose, the sterile packaging around medical equipment, toys, gears, and yes, fuel. Each of these processes is invented and overseen by engineers and thousands of employees.  That fuel then travels around the earth, delivered to tank trucks, emptied into a giant cistern beneath your local 7-11 and then pumped into your car. And that gallon of gas, same price as milk.

I am an environmentalist though. And living in a place where the sky was literally brown with smog for a sizeable percentage of the year, where asthmatic children had to play inside, well… gasoline also has some drawbacks. But it’s definitely not “Big Oil” that’s the problem. It’s us. We demand, they supply. We shape how much fuel is consumed. There is nothing evil about supplying things that are wonderful in one quantity but harmful in another. No one says Big Ice Cream is to blame for the increase in Type II Diabetes.

The 25 year minister of OPEC, Ahmed Yamani  said something very profound, “The stone age did not end for lack of stones.” And our dependence on oil will not decrease out of a gasoline shortage. We must choose to innovate long before that, and we already are. I firmly believe that at some point in the near future solar power will be so efficient and battery storage so much more advanced, that it would be idiotic to burn coal to generate domestic electricity. I believe that gasoline will remain the major fuel source of cargo transport and long distance transportation, but that most personal vehicles will be plugged in rather than poured into in order to run. And I honestly do not understand why people think its foolish to think that way.

When Orville Wright flew for a grand total of 12 seconds, it would be logical to say that that technology would never scale. It could never travel long distances. It would never carry passengers. It would never be reliable for cargo. Well, solar panels are really expensive and they’re not very efficient. Battery banks are high maintenance, and solar panels wouldn’t  pay for their own installation in Washington state.  Logic says that it’s a bad bet as it stands. Logic also says that given investment and a few years humanity can do amazing, unbelievable things. The first computer was contained in multiple rooms, and I’m currently typing this post on a computer so slim it  falls in between my couch cushions and is much, much more powerful that ENIAC.  Before you mention Solyndra, I know. Amelia Earhart died crossing the Pacific Ocean in the first attempt to fly  across the Earth, and look:

Each yellow dot is one flight
(Unfortunately I don't know where this video came from, but I got the gif from Reddit)

Regardless of how bad global warming may or may not be, renewable energy is just the trajectory of the future. That's why I like it. Not because I'm pessimistic because I'm optimistic. Think about how cool the world would be where no matter where you lived the sky was never brown and coal mining never killed anyone ever again.  

Wouldn't that be awesome?

Steph, your hippy sister

New Normal

Hey Steph,
  Have you ever had a moment that you wish you could go back and redo? Like a car accident. The few times I've been in a car accident, I always think, "Man, that was so stupid. If I'd just put a little less pressure on the gas or double-checked my rear-view mirrors." Same thing goes with stubbing my toe. The agony of pain after stubbing a toe makes me regret the fact that I didn't practice my walking more studiously.
      While the lost money and the extreme physical pain of these two examples can make me want to get in the TARDIS and redo those moments, I've been thinking about bigger things that we do that cause sorrow in our lives. As you know (though not a ton of others know), four years ago I broke off an engagement to a boy I had dated for about a year. For months leading up to this called-off engagement, I felt trapped in a pit of despair created by uncertainty. Nearly every moment of every day I felt this weight on my chest, pushing down on my soul and eking out my store of hope. And when I finally figured out that I didn't want to get married to this particular amazing guy, I wasn't quite free from these feelings yet. It was as if this tear that had gone through my heart had also torn apart the reality of the world I lived in. Happiness was not something that I just had. I had to work for it now. Who I was seemed to be an undefinable entity: I didn't know. What or who was God? And what did He have to do with me and my broken life? I awoke each day to a shattered world all around me, and I worked to piece together the jigsaw puzzle of this world.
        Most days looked like this: I woke up. Felt that weight on my chest. Tried to push it aside with positive thoughts. Went to work. Threw myself in anything that distracted me from all the uncertainties and doubts in my head. Made it to my lunch break. Called Mom. Inevitably cried to her--and oftentimes whined to her. Went back to work. Flung myself into scripture study, grasping for any side pieces of my puzzle to help frame what God was and cling to the hope that that provided. Went to sleep. I repeated this practice every day for several months.

        During the course of all this, I often thought, "Why didn't I break up with him that one time I thought he was annoying when we'd only been dating for three weeks?" It's true that I thought about breaking up with him but it only lasted about four hours--and it was totally me running away from commitment. But whether it would have been a good idea or not, it didn't matter. I was where I was and wishing that I wasn't there wasn't going to change anything.
        I easily romanticize my past life. I think of my life before this happened, and I think of how sure I was in the world and in God. And it's true that I was, but it wasn't all bliss. That girl also hated her body and thought she was weak. She had no peace about the future either.
        My friend who works in physical therapy told me about a term they use in her profession. Many people she works with have gone through some event or disease that leaves them physically weakened. In many cases instead of talking about full recovery, they talk about reaching their new normal--a new level of physical capability that's not quite as capable as they use to be. When trying to work through trials, I've found this viewpoint to be helpful in moving forward. Instead of bemoaning my lost former self, I can accept what I am now--and the beauty of having seen the rough side of life is that you value all the good things more than your younger, less-tried self did. To keep with the physical therapy metaphor, you might have lost your ability to physically walk, but your tried soul can come out of this more full, knowledgeable, and compassionate. The trade-off of a scarred heart is strengthened character that you couldn't have gotten without the pain.
        To be honest, I'm still working on that jigsaw puzzle (It's huge and the pieces are tiny!), trying to put together those sections that are hard to distinguish one piece from another. Before the world shattered for me, I looked on it and it was gorgeous and full of light, but after I'm done putting it back together, one painstaking piece at a time, I think I'll look at it and cherish all those details--black, brown, gold, and green--that I worked tirelessly to fit inside the masterpiece.

Love you, Steph.

Cheers,

Amanda

How the Internet Actually Works

Hey Amanda,

Can you smell it? Nostalgia just invited you to dinner

 Okay, as a kid I wanted to know how the internet worked and I always got these mystical answers like the internet was some deity that was everywhere and nowhere. It's was a vast cloud, too complex to explain, where information just...was.

Yeah, that's crap.  The internet is a cable. Literally.  It's a huge web of cable with a host of literal routers that shunt information from one place to another. Sometimes that information travels via radio waves to satellites-but mostly it's real, actual cable. (There is a tangible wire that runs under the Atlantic that connects the American internet with Europe for instance). And when 10 year old me played Neopets, my Scorchio physically existed as a bundle of 1's and 0's (electrical charges) my computer interpreted as this:

Scorchio was saved temporarily on my computer through the wonder of the internet. But Scorchio and the rest of the Neopets World lived in Secaucus, NJ at the Viacom Data Center. In one of its hundreds of servers, my Neopet account information was stored. (And of course Viacom being a huge company, has many backup servers but ignoring that) if a freak meteorite hit that particular server, my Scorchio would cease to exist. It wasn't everywhere and nowhere, that tiny piece of the internet has a mailing address, as does every other tiny corner of the internet. There is no mystical internet cloud, just very well-planned, redundant servers saving multiple back-ups of your google doc Master's thesis, or that Youtube video of "Tearin' Up My Heart" or your Picassa album of JTT collages.

Photo Credit

So this is how the internet works.
Because you're human, you can accurately remember and type in "zombo.com" but not 69.16.230.117. But that string of numbers (the IP address) is what your computer needs to reach the server in Michigan where that page "lives."

So your computer asks your internet service provider (Time Warner, Quest, Comcast, etc) what's the IP address for zombo.com. Your internet service provider probably says "I don't know let me ask another server."

So your internet provider asks the "dot" Server, who says "Ask the 'dot com' server she'll know--this is her number."

So your internet provider asks the "dot com" server who says "Ask the 'zombo dot com' server--this is his number"

So your internet provider asks the "zombo dot com" server who says "Yes, you want to access the hompage--this is it's IP address"

So your ISP shoots off that IP address to your computer who then whizzes off to Michigan, picks-up packets of information for the font, color, and layout of the homepage, whizzes back through your modem then loads those packets up on your monitor.

All of those queries and that data retrieval only took a fraction of second.*

Your computer then saves the IP address for zombo.com in your cache. So next time, it doesn't have to wait for five servers to respond before it can load the zombo homepage. (That's why when a page is updated, sometimes you have to clear your cache for it to display correctly since your computer assumes it still has the same IP address, but the new version has been saved to a different server, etc.)

Cool huh.

*Next time you overhear someone mouthing off about how slow the internet is and having a crappy day about it, just think--sheez dude, your computer is literally sending queries across the country trying to help you out. Be a little grateful. And call your mom and tell her you love her because life is pretty freaking fantastic.

I dare you to say "Internet and the speed of information transfer" at the Thanksgiving table this year because seriously, your life is amazing,

Stephanie

knowledge: an internet connection, and a curious mind

Many thanks to Barry Brown of Youtube/ Sierra College and Wikipedia.

Autumn

Hi Steph,
  I've written a total of three posts and thought about several others before settling on this post. Let's hope by the end of writing this one I'm still excited about sharing it.
         Being a born and bred Texan, I hate being cold. I hate being stuck outside, unknowing of when I'll be back inside again. Every year since I've moved to the mountainous area of the US, I start fearing winter about this time of year. I can start to fill it chilling my feet, pinching my arms, and frosting my hands, and I want to run as fast as I can to the South. But I must be a slow learner because unlike Texas, there are four whole seasons where I live now. Not just summer and winter. So September is actually where fall begins, not winter. I'm just figuring this out. While I'm not anywhere near whining about the long heat of summer--like pretty much everyone I know--I am starting to get excited about autumn. I think I've been prepping myself well for the fall season (note, I'm not ready for winter). Here's five reasons I'm excited about autumn.

1. Soup: I just joined a dinner group, and the goal every time I cook is how to showcase my culinary skills in the cheapest manner. I could serve a casserole, but I'm snoody and, since cooking for people other than myself is a rare opportunity, I just can't pop chicken and rice into the oven. For all you mothers and not-stuck-up-foodie readers out there, please continue cooking casseroles. Casseroles are delicious!
    I've found that soup is the best bet. I can be healthy, culinary, and cheap in one dish. Oh, and most soups are easy and the exact right dish for curling up from blustery weather outside.

2. Gilmore Girls: Not quite ready to let go of summer? Watch a few episodes of Gilmore Girls, and soon enough their cute jackets and New England charm will put you right in the mood too watch for changing weather.

3. Books: Books are great all year round, but a perennial problem for many book lovers is that they also tend to be nature lovers. If you're like me, I love drinking in beauty around me and the outdoors seem to scream at me during the summer, making it impossible to snuggle into the beauty of a book. Thus, the joy of fall. Night comes earlier, and the hours of available outdoor time are diminished and replaced with a blanket and book party in your bed. Want a recommendation? I just started reading Homemade Life: Stories and Recipes from My Kitchen Table, a memoir by Molly Wizenberg. In the first 30 pages, it's a beautiful, warm description of food, life, and relationships.

4. Holidays: There's a reason we have smashed a bunch of quality holidays in a few months' period. We need something to divide up the lengthy fall/winter season. It's easy to be excited about fall with Halloween and Thanksgiving a month apart from each other--and Christmas welcoming in winter a month after that. Try something new for Halloween and Thanksgiving if they aren't your favorite holidays. I don't normally like Halloween that much, but last year I made homemade candy for the first time, including this delicious recipe for Peppermint Patties. It made throwing a Halloween party a lot more fun for me.

5. Music: Like books, music can be enjoyed all year round, but there's a particular type of music that fills my mind with images of fall leaves and chilly breezes on my cheeks. It's the quiet guitar and mandolin strums of my Nickel Creek station on Pandora. Check out this video for an example:

Bonus: Not ready for the chill yet? Try a cup of tea. My awesome friend gave me Throat Coat--a herb tea for sore throats--but since it is just herbs, I drink it all the time now. It's a warm blend of cinnamon and licorice that warms you right up. Oh, and if you hate licorice, I do too--like detest it, but not in this tea. Yum!

Love ya, Steph!

Amanda Kae

What gets you excited about fall?

Makeup Essentials

Hey Amanda,

First statement: Women still have to wear makeup. Not "women still think they are obligated to wear makeup" but, women are in reality perceived as more competent when wearing makeup as opposed to fresh faced. Poops.

Second statement: strong women have varied interests and priorities. You can be a feminist and like fashion. You can be a feminist and be crafty. You can be a feminist that refuse to wear dresses. You can be a feminist that hates to cook.

So my dirty secret, I like makeup. Like a lot. Like oh my heck I watch youtube tutorials for nail art.

whoa

 But I hate feeling like I have to wear makeup, so I often don't.  Like anyone else's hobby, I don't do makeup everyday. And to make a point I seldom wear makeup to worship, because looking my best includes the features I was born with. But makeup is also a way to show your personality, and subvert the ideals of beauty, and is a creative avenue and a lot of fun... of course, if you're into that sort of thing.

But whether you like makeup or not, unfortunately, every woman still needs to worry about it. So I figured I'd help a sister out with my hobby knowledge. If you ever want someone to do your makeup or nails, you know who to call. But since the vast majority of our readers don't live within driving distance, here's three tiers of makeup essentials:

I hate makeup, and I have an job interview

• bronze eyeshadow-- it's universally flattering and can be applied competently with the cheapo applicator that comes with the eyeshadow. Wet n' Wild is a cheap brand and has great quality. 
• eyelash curler--I know, but seriously--this makes the most difference
• mascara--whatever brand floats your boat. Avoid waterproof, it migrates around your eyes because of your natural skin oils and it's a pain in the tuckus to remove. 
• Blush-- optional, unless you're going to be under bright lights (like at an auditorium presentation) then you really ought to wear some. A peachy color tends to look the most natural.

I don't hate makeup, but I don't know what I'm doing

• makeup brushes make the most difference. Seriously, never upgrade your cosmetics before upgrading your applicators. It gives you the most bang for your buck. I suggest owning:
• A fluffy blush brush--ecotools is cheap and makes a great blush brush
• a flat eyeshadow brush--the ecotools set has one of these in it so yay!
• am "angled brow brush"- also in the ecotools set, of course, helps make your eyebrows more defined, but I mostly use this to line my eyes
• a small fluffy eyeshadow brush-- unfortunately these are really hard to find affordably. The ELF brand at Target has one, but it's pretty scratchy. But unless you're willing to spend more than a couple of dollars per brush, that's your only choice. The fluffy brush helps blend out the top of your eyeshadow color so you don't have a distinct line where the color starts and stops. 
• Please don't use bronzer to contour your face. I know you saw it in your favorite magazine. But it's not natural looking. Just don't contour. Or commit to finding a shade of eyeshadow that fits your skin tone--you're looking for a light grey toned brown, not the orange-y brown of a bronzer. Pick an eyeshadow only a few shades darker than your skin and apply it lightly with a brush with synthetic bristles so you don't pick up too much color. You're going  for the illusion of subtle shadows not corpse bride. 
• Foundation is over-rated. But if you must, Neutrogena makes a nice, affordable foundation. Try to mix some with your moisturizer for an even lighter application. 
• Oh yeah...moisturizer. With SPF. Every day. Not for vanity, because it's also great for not getting skin cancer. 

I have an Ulta Rewards Card. 

Free Gift With Purchase: the fastest way to part me from my cash--"But if I spend four more dollars, I can get a free eyeliner." See also, diabolical marketing strategies and Free Shipping with minimum purchase

• The best quality brands for your dollar:
• Revlon: lipsticks. Really Red is a gorgeous, "give Taylor Swift a run for it" red color.
• NYX: blushes, eyeshadow pencils, eyeshadows, and I've heard lipglosses
• ULTA: awesome cheek tints, nail polish, gel pencils, and neutral shimmer eyeshadows--they're color eyeshadows are lacking in pigmentation. Skip on their kits, they quality isn't the same as their stand alone products. And never pay full price--they often go on sale. 
• Rimmel: bronzer, mascaras
• Wet n' Wild: eyeshadows, bronzers
• Sinful Colors: nail polish
• Maybelline: mascaras, eyeshadow "tattoos"
• Covergirl: concealer.
• Loreal: HIP collection color eyeshadows  are nice. More expensive though...at that point I'd recommend buying your eyshadows from Makeup Geek instead. The Ben Nye pigment samples are as good as you can get for color payoff and they sell for $5. Not too shabby. 
• ELF: black gel eyeliner! and their angled eyeliner brush is also awesome. $1. Can't beat that.
• Brushes: Crown brush is a good step up from ecotools without being ridiculous. Louis Young is definitely in the ridiculous range...but that doesn't mean I haven't thought about buying some. At least you get free shipping from Nordstrom's....
• Of course, you don't really need me. I'm sure you've found your way to Makeup Geek and if you haven't I suggest going through their tutorial archives. Unfortunately, the girl who runs Makeup Geek has kind of neglected the blog portion of the website after launching her cosmetics brand. 
• ...also my super geeky, actually intellectual youtube makeup girl just took all of her videos down. Sad day. PixiWoo is alright. Goss Makeup Artist is also alright (although a little spendy with his product recommendations).  But no one is quite as cerebral about makeup artistry like Aushnakilops was... let me know in the comments if you're a closet makeup lover and have any recommendations for makeup blogs to watch/read. 

Smiles

Hey Steph,
               In American history, there's several narratives of people making great journeys. It's a story shared by the first English immigrants to America and the German and Scots-Irish immigrants a few centuries later. It's a story forced upon the native people of America in the Trail of Tears and African American slaves in their cramped journey across the ocean. We've got a lot of sojourners here in this country, and we continue to add more to our stock every year. Historically, we are a people able to take a hard road in life, whether of our own accord or by the will of others. When nineteenth-century Mormons had been kicked out of their homes again and again in the Midwest, they decided to take a long journey across the Rockies to a place where they would hopefully be free to live decades in a place instead of a few years. Before setting off, they received Godly revelation: "If thou art merry, praise the Lord with singing, with music, with dancing, and with a prayer of praise and thanksgiving. If thou art sorrowful, call on the Lord thy God with supplication, that your souls may be joyful." (D&C 136:28-29). I like this advice because I think it pertains to anyone living a life. Whether we are physically traveling a long distance or metaphorically forging our way through emotional climbs, there will be times that we are merry and times that we are sorrowful. We don't need to be ashamed of these feelings (not that our culture has much against being merry), but we can use this advice to make the best of how we're feeling.

Here's a good reason to smile.

               I think it is wise to multiply our merriment through singing, music, dancing, thanksgiving, and anything else that gives us joy. At times when I've felt low in life, I sometimes will smile at something, feel the utter juxtaposition of positivity that comes into my lungs and heart, and recall that I was previously feeling depressed. Remembering the weightier matters on my mind, I reject that smile as superficial. What a dumb thing to do! Why do I choose to be negatively minded, even about serious things, instead of happy right now? All these sojourners could have focused day in and day out about the endless up and down of sea waves or the hundreds of miles left to travel, but that is no way to survive. So when you're merry, multiply it. Let that positivity sink into your cells and give you energy to keep moving forward when, inevitably, sorrow returns. I once was interviewing someone for a magazine article about a teacher he had had. He said that this teacher had a "generous laughter." Besides being caught by the eloquence of this phrase, I also thought that that would be such a great quality to have. You might not reserve your laughter for the truly witty, but you're probably prone to be a little happier in life, and you're sharing that happiness with those around you.

               From a man who knew all about making people smile, here's Charlie Chaplin's Smile:

Hoping smiles for you!

Amanda

P.S. Need a smile. Google "cute baby."

What makes you smile?

I don't know, I believe

So  in Mormonism, once a month the main church service is a testimony meeting. The microphone is open to anyone that wants to say something. Often people talk about an especially challenging time and how God has helped them, or how they’ve felt especially blessed. But the whole meeting is supposed to revolve around testifying about Jesus (although I’m not really sure what the preposition should be there--testifying for, to, of…)

And when I was little I got up a lot, because I liked to talk, and I liked Jesus, and it seemed like a pretty good opportunity. As I’ve gotten older I realized that there are social considerations around testimony meeting that shouldn’t matter but do.  And part of this uncomfortable feeling as I’ve gotten older is my choice of verb.

Jesus Walks on Water by Ivan Aivazovsky

Most people say “I know.” And I don’t. I believe.

There are some religious things I know. Like I know that human beings can’t possibly be the wisest, most compassionate creatures in the universe. And I know that each human life is valuable. I “know” these things, because if I believed otherwise there would be no point in living. No point in having children. No point in being sad about Syria. No point in being anything but psychopathically hedonistic other than gaining the fickle approval of my peers. Yes, I know that there are Athiests that live happy, compassionate lives. I know them and respect them.  But I wouldn’t be one of them.

So to me it’s not a choice. Athieism is as off the table to me as joining the flat earth society.

I do have a choice to believe that there’s a God that’s actively involved and concerned about my life. So I do. And I will say that often, I feel there is evidence to support that belief. Usually in the form of a sense of serenity that replaces internal turmoil. But since I’m human, I also doubt that serenity as soon as its gone. Occasionally in the panic of wondering if I’ve manufactured divinity out of biology, I feel that odd, out of body calm again. And when I put words to that impulse it sounds something like “Don’t be an idiot, I love you. It’s me.”  I’ve had that experience so often that I can pretty comfortably say “I know God loves me.” And just following through logically, since I’m not particularly loveable among all the people on the planet: “I know that God loves all of us.”

And there are lots of Theists in general, Christians, and Mormons in particular that feel that through the evidence of experience they Know about many aspects of their faith. But I usually stick to believe. Not because I think any of those things are “unknowable.” Since I believe in angels and miracles, I certainly have to believe that there are people that Know. I’m just not one of them.

For a long time, I thought this made me a second-rung Christian because I couldn’t commit to knowing Jesus. But thankfully, Jesus saved me a seat in Christianity: “blessed are they who shall believe in your words because that ye shall testify that ye have seen me, and that ye know that I am.” (3 Ne. 12:2) 

I’m really grateful for the people that Know. But I’m also really grateful for the people that believe. People like me that through the quandary of reality have a hard time knowing, but still make the choice to give it a go.

Evangelical Athiests often point to the large percentage of scientists that are Athiest as a selling point. Ironically,  this makes me think, “Look! There are extremely well educated, evidenced-minded, skeptical people out there, that despite the pressure of their colleagues still choose to believe in God!” Don’t get me wrong, that’s a lousy reason to believe in God, I just find it comforting after I choose to keep doing so. Because faith is paradoxical. Natural and alien, easy and tremendously difficult.

I will tell you that I am a child of this century, a child of disbelief and doubt. I am that today and will remain so until the grave. How much terrible torture this thirst for faith has cost me and costs me even now, which is all the stronger in my soul the more arguments I can find against it. And yet, God sends me sometimes instants when I am completely calm; at those instants I love and feel loved by others, and it is at those instances that I have shaped for myself a Credo where everything is clear and sacred for me. This Credo is very simple, here it is: to believe that nothing is more beautiful, profound, sympathetic, reasonable, manly and more powerful than Christ.  

- Fyodor Dostoevsky

Pretty mandolin music! 

Steph