Wetting Myself in Public: An Explanation

Hey Amanda,

I just visited with a friend who has HG (e.g. morning sickness that makes you want to die), and it brought back all of these old emotions from my own HG pregnancy. On the way home NPR was running a story on the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, and the combination was just extremely unpleasant.

Being pregnant broke me and overwhelmed me, physically and emotionally. I don't really know how to explain it, other than I suddenly had some first-hand empathy for drug addicts because in those weeks I would've done almost anything to feel better.  I found myself at one point vomiting into a storm grate in a parking lot as a bunch of teenage boys looked on, and I walked away with bile on my shirt and wet pants because I had lost bladder control.  It was a place of humiliation and despair that I have never experienced before or since. And I'm sharing it on the internet because even then, I never considered an abortion.

But I guess there are worse bad days

A lot of people think that the abortion debate is just another overreach of Church into State. I am an above average religious person, but it wasn't about heaven or hell for me. It was just visceral. Every time I was sick, it was a reminder that a cluster of cells was still alive, still wanting to be alive. My baby didn't even have a heartbeat, and my body was already radically changing to be its life support.

It's a different magnitude, but it's essentially the same moral  arithmetic that you do when you give blood. I will be uncomfortable now so that someone else can live later.  That's the entire abortion debate in a nutshell for me. And so while I take the stance that abortion should be an option,  I don't know why they need to be easy.

When Texas proposed changing the rules around abortion clinics, pundits bemoaned how difficult it would make it for low income women to get an abortion---some would have to drive upwards of 3 hours to get to an abortion clinic. Now there were some major problems with that legislation which needed to be challenged, but it wasn't for that reason.

If someone could've magically made my nausea go away, I would have crawled three hours both ways. I would have scrimped pennies and sold everything I owned to take a plane ticket to Nepal and hire a goatherd to guide my wretching body up the Himalayas. So I'm going to just own the title of self-righteous expletive when I say that if you can't summon the funds and willpower to accomplish a three hour drive, you don't need an abortion, and you're probably short-sighted if not completely self-absorbed.

That gastrula who made me so sick became my son. I waded in the river Styx and I came out on the other side with the little boy that tells me to wait when I close his bedroom door at night, saying "Momma kiss?" Yes, Love, I'll give you a kiss. 

gastrula: n. a point in development where the baby looks like a cross between a snowman and an amoeba. The cells are clustered into three layers: the ectoderm which will become the skin, brain, and nervous system; the mesoderm which becomes the muscles, cardiovascular and skeletal systems; and the endoderm which will make up the lungs and gut organs. Occurs in humans around the 3rd week, about the same time that "morning" sickness starts in many women. 

I didn't really know it then, but that interaction is why I chose to keep hurting. Why I chose to just keep breathing, and hold it together for one more hour every hour. Yes, my son deserved to live. But more than that I deserved to have a son. And all of those women who feel like they just can't -- deserve to have those children too. So to take that option from yourself needs to be a serious undertaking. Labor is spontaneous, but abortion should be labored.

I'm not really trying to convince anyone that my opinion is right. Mostly, I just wrote this to explain why I'm really incapable of understanding why abortion needs to be easy.  My experience being pregnant was just too rough for me to forget it or leave it aside when I approach the issue.

-Stephanie

15 Kitchen Hacks that Will Save a Long Ton of Cash

Hey Amanda,

1. When you Buy Chicken, Buy an Entire Chicken

I know what you're thinking. The price isn't that different after you factor for skin and bones.  Well, thanks to Texas's Extension Service, I factually disagree.

Meat yields per pound of purchased Chicken parts
Whole Bird------------------------- .7 lb per pound  (with skin) .58 lb per pound (without)
Boneless Skinless Breast---- 1 lb per pound
Boneless Breast----------------- .89 lb per pound
Thigh-------------------------------- .66 lb per pound
Boneless Thigh------------------ .84 lb per pound
Drumstick------------------------- .67 lb (with skin) .58 lb per pound (without)
Wing--------------------------------  .54 lb (with skin) .33 lb per pound (without)

So, to find the boneless skinless meat price for your whole bird multiply it's price per pound by 1.72 so you can comparison shop between meat cuts. Don't look at me like I'm crazy, your phone has a calculator on it.

A trip to Wal-Mart and a tappity-tap on my phone verified that meat from Whole Chicken was still 54% cheaper than boneless, skinless breast meat.  Shoot.

That doesn't even touch the savings in supplemental goods from the whole chicken, namely the heavenly cold-kicking, best-tasting chicken stock you have ever imbibed, and schmaltz (e.g. Jewish Lard).

And now your thinking, yeah, but it takes so gosh darn long to take those bones out....

Riddle me this. Do you have ten minutes to save a bunch of money and make the best chicken noodle soup of your life?

For the remaining 14 hacks, see Part 2.

You're  welcome,
Stephanie

Schmaltz: n. rendered fat from chicken, frequently used by Jews in cooking as an alternative to butter in meals where meat will be served to avoid breaking Kosher laws of separating meat from dairy. Use with noodles, rice, roasted squash or potatoes, to fry hasbrowns or eggs,to grease pans and pots.... wow, that was quite the run-on sentence.

Why I dig the Spartan Laser and hate the battle bikini, why Video game violence and misogyny are different

Hello 2014!

Sorry we've been gone so long y'all. One of these days I'll actually plan ahead for vacations, but December was not one of those times.  There's great things coming y'all, but I'm keeping mum on that until the time comes. Just letting you know, we're not dead and Sistionary is going to be getting an order of magnitude cooler.


Hey Amanda,

As a woman I have an above average  fondness for video games, but just barely. Although I would like to see firearm regulation be a little tighter, I cringe when someone brings up video games as the reason why we should be worried about gun violence.  Honestly, the amount of blood in some games is disgusting, and I've reached the point where with a plethora of choices, we no longer spend money on graphic depictions of humans dying. But my problem with that isn't that it trains you to hurt people, because it doesn't. I just think it trains you not to care. You stop noticing the blood on the screen whether it's Medal of Honor, or CNN. That's the problem. The problem isn't that you will give into a murderous rage and start running people over with your car. Yes, most/ maybe all mass shooters have played video games. But they were also teenage boys. They also probably wore lace up sneakers, and denim pants on a pseudo regular basis.

Heck yeah Samus!!! (from Deviantart) 

And while I argue that violence in video games doesn't lead to violence in reality, I will definitely stand by the assertion that misogyny in video games leads to misogyny in real life. Why? Because your brain is hardwired to not want to hurt people. Get really mad, fly off the handle, yes. But murder someone? Your biological wiring as a social creature will yell at you not to do it. Social stigma, criminal repercussions, effects on your dreams and aspirations---all the cause and effect thinking that your executive function really excels at, they all lead up to you not throwing a punch. But misogynistic thinking doesn't have the same checks. No one knows what you think. The same world you inhabit in the Xbox is the same one you have at the water cooler---just shooting the wind with your buddies. So what stops a man from thinking the same way he thinks in the game. Women are rewards. I work hard. I deserve a woman. And what harm are sexist jokes? I don't really mean it. Just having a laugh. It's not like I would actually say it to a woman.   It's not like I'm making my coworker's afternoon uncomfortable. These cubicle walls are soundproof.

So that's why I uninstalled Bard's Tale. Opening sequence, I thought too much cleavage, but I'll give it a shot. Okay first level, Widow Mary's Inn--you offer to rid her of her mice infestation, and she offers you a warm place to sleep and--- I kid you not--- leans over and pushes her breasts together.

Nope. Sorry, Bard's Tale. No dice. You just lost at life. You do a girl a favor, she might owe you cookies, but she sure as heck doesn't owe you her body. *creeped out shiver*  And that's why women think video games are misogynistic....because they are.

Guess I'll stick with Spelltower this evening,
Stephanie