Giving Up on Getting 100% on Life's Test

"This life is a test." I heard this phrase over and over at Church growing up, but I feel like I'm just getting the concept. I've always been someone who really enjoyed learning, and I was lucky enough to test well at school. In a way, I enjoyed taking tests. They were often like games to me, and I got excited about figuring out the right answer. To be honest, I still like tests. (Nerd alert!)

So, when I learned that we were sent here to be tested, I naively thought of that as a series of choices.

True or False:

1. It is appropriate to use foul language.
2. You should study scriptures everyday.
3. Telling lies is all right, but only if you have a good reason to do so.

I knew all the answers! 1. False! 2. True! 3. False! Though I could answer correctly all these questions of morality and righteousness, I didn't always act in accordance with what I knew was right. That is where I saw the importance of the Atonement come in. When I made a mistake, the Savior was there to correct the missteps.

The last few years I've realized I'm actually a really slow learner. Yes, the Atonement covers our sins and makes up for the times we use our actions to incorrectly "answer" choices of good and evil. But life isn't just a test of choosing good from evil. It is a test of faith, a test of hope, a test of endurance, a test of courage, a test of character, a test of limits. But the word test still doesn't work for me here. All the tests that we have here on earth just don't equate to the test administered by Deity. The best we can do is use metaphors.

crucible: a pot which can withstand high temperatures in order to test materials at high temperatures

In chemistry, a crucible is used to heat elements to extreme temperatures. All other substances are burned off, leaving only the pure element. Then the element is cooled and weighed at room temperature. Special tongs are used to move the crucible because even fingerprints can add mass to the crucible and element weight! This method helps provide accuracy of atomic mass up to six figures. To put this in academic test terms, this is like asking when the Civil War ended, and not only looking for the day the treaty was signed in Appomattox Courthouse, but the hour, the minute, and the second it was signed. This is precision.

The catch here is that we are the element being brought to extreme temperatures. Our test isn't to know exactly how much we amount to in the crucible but to go through the crucible itself. We are heated, or tried, until our purest form remains--who we are when brought to our limits. If we are going through a crucible testing patience, we will be "heated" for the longest period we can think of and then longer. If we are going through the crucible of faith, we will be "heated" to a place where we feel we don't know anything, until only faith remains. And then we are measured and our true weight is found.

I've found that our perceived level of strength is no where near where God knows it to be. So these experiments in crucibles are often longer, more extreme, and more exhausting than we ever thought was possible. Only the omniscience of God could create such a perfectly personal test of our character. And because we are highly complex beings, one bout in the crucible can't fully measure us. We will be tossed back in to test all our attributes.

The beauty of being tested in the crucibles of life is that the test itself changes us and strengthens us because we are here not just to test well, but to become like God. Once again, only an all-loving, omniscient God can create an assessment that simultaneously measures and teaches His pupils.

Just a few of my thoughts.

Cheers,

Amanda