Bowdlerize

Hey Amanda,

You’re getting two words this week, because really they’re just too good to pass up.  

bowdlerize: v. to remove offensive language or content. Named after Thomas Bowdler who infamously created a squeaky-clean, fig-leaved version of the works of Shakespeare.  

minced oath: n. almost swear words. Ironically, usually things you say to sound like a prim English grandmother. Just a heads up poppycock, zounds, and egad, correlate respectively to a particular texture of feces, the wounds of Jesus of Nazareth, and “My God.”

I was thinking lately about how I lack the capability to swear. Not like a 15-year-old boy lacks the capability to swear. I’m actually pretty confident that if I could get swear words to leave my mouth, I'd be pretty good at it. I too could “weave a tapestry of obscenities” that float over Lake Michigan.

I file my own taxes, fill up my gas tank before it gets down to a quarter, am fully responsible for the continued existence of a human child and the phrase “the b-word” actually just came out of my mouth.  Remember that one time we tried to have a conversation about gendered slurs. Which unfortunately didn't get very far. Too much ambiguity between canine mothers and illegitimate sons if you're unwilling to actually say the slurs you're referring to.

Usually, my inability to swear makes me appear to be a more decent human being. Or at least, forces me to be more precise in my insults. However, there exists concepts in the English language that only exist as swears.

For instance:

and

This second one is the more infuriating one for me. You can get by with "professional jerk" or "proactively offensive", but sometimes you just want to give a mildly irreverent compliment. "Hardcore" is a weak substitute.

Have any favorite kid-friendly minced oaths/obscenities? What do you when you can't use the right word?  Get really blankety blank frustrated?

Ciao,

Steph